Clara's Dirty Little Secret
"Clara's Dirty Little Secret" is the second episode of Drawn Together. Synopsis Toot is jealous of the boys paying more attention to Clara than they are to her, so she digs up a secret about Clara which reveals that she has a monster vagina between her legs. Ling-Ling is sick and tired of constantly having to do the dirty dishes. Storyline Weeks have passed since Clara's first encounter with Foxxy and she's spent the entire time telling everyone the story nonstop, to the delight of all of the housemates except Toot. Thinking Clara needs to be taken down a peg, Toot convinces Clara that she's pregnant with Foxxy's child. This causes Clara to panic, as she realizes in horror her father would never allow her to birth a black woman's child. Toot informs Clara that she can end the pregnancy by falling down a flight of stairs, a goal with which Toot is more than happy to assist her. After Toot pushes Clara down the stairs numerous times, Foxxy asks Clara what is going on and Clara confesses to her that she is pregnant with Foxxy's love child. Realizing that Clara is completely ignorant about sex, Foxxy decides to set everyone straight by giving the housemates a sex-ed lesson, but rather than making her happy she cannot be pregnant, Clara becomes despondent. Foxxy confronts Clara to find out what the problem is. Clara reveals that after Foxxy's lesson (which stressed the importance of a woman's vagina), she now realizes that she will never be able to find happiness, since no man will ever want to come near her intimate areas. Foxxy tries to tell Clara that regardless of what her father might have told her, her vagina is a beautiful place, but Clara proves otherwise by revealing that her vagina is a gigantic, tentacled monster, the result of a curse placed upon her by her stepmother. Although gentle on the surface, the Octopussoir (as Clara calls it) is revealed to be extremely sensitive to loud noises. Toot wastes no time exploiting this quality and deliberately disturbs the Octopussoir, causing it to destroy the furniture in the living room and consume Wooldoor (and a cameraman). Despite Foxxy's attempts to protect her, the other housemates temporarily adopt desperate measures and chase Clara before an alternative is found. According to her stepmother, only the kiss of her true love can break the curse. To this end, the housemates stage a Bachelorette-type contest in which men compete for the tittle of Prince Charming to be Clara's true love. Clara meets the actual Prince Charming and becomes instantly smitten with him, believing him to be the man of her dreams. However, his kiss, rather than curing her curse, causes his penis to turn into an octopus itself. Dismayed at his new condition, Prince Charming commits suicide. Since the curse now appears to be irreversible, the housemates (except Foxxy) once again take up arms to kill the Octopussoir. Clara tries to show them that the Octopussoir is kind and charitable deep down, but it is not until the Octopussoir begins cleaning the long dormant pile of dirty dishes in the sink (much to Ling-Ling's delight) that everyone realizes that it's not such a bad creature after all. The housemates all come to terms with Clara's Octopussoir, and Clara makes peace with her stepmother. The episode ends with Wooldoor being expelled from Clara's vagina. Musical Number: "La-La-La-La-Labia", a Hanna-Barbera style song sung by Foxxy and the housemates a'la Josie and the Pussycats during a montage in which everyone chases Clara's vagina. Lyrically, the song is basically a long string of vagina metaphors. Characters Major Roles *Princess Clara *Octopussoir *Toot Braunstein *Foxxy Love *Prince Charming Minor Roles *Ling-Ling *Wooldoor Sockbat *Captain Hero *Xandir *Spanky Ham Lyrics to "La-la-la-la Labia" :Foxxy: La la la la labia baby you got something for me (in your wizard's sleeve) :La la la la labia baby you got something for me (some sweet PT) :Hoochie coochie gitchy gitchy yeah yeah yeah :Gotta snatcha gonna catcha yatcha yeah yeah yeah :Binja minja bearded clam :Furry burger smiley sam :La la la la labia baby you got something for me :Octopussoir: Oh yes siree! :Foxxy: Fluffy muffy stuffy in the yeah yeah yeah :I gotta fever for the beaver weaver yeah yeah yeah :Honey pot peachie pie :Octopussoir: Take it to the Y-clef :Foxxy: La la la la labia baby you got something for me (in your wizard's sleeve) :La la la la labia baby you got something for me (some sweet PT) :Bushy bushy fishy squishy yeah yeah yeah :Smelly jelly underbelly yeah yeah yeah :La la la la labia baby you got something for me (in your wizard's sleeve) :La la la la labia baby you got something for me (some sweet PT) :Cookie nookie slitty kitty yeah yeah yeah :I diggy giggy murky wiggy yeah yeah yeah :La la la la labia baby you got something for me (in your wizard's sleeve) :La la la la labia baby you got something for me (some sweet PT) :La la la la labia baby you got something for me (in your wizard's sleeve) :La la la la labia baby you got something for me (some sweet PT) : :Genre: Disco, funk Memorable Quotes *'Ling-Ling:' Why always dirty dishes in the sink? I'm not your maid people! ---- *'Princess Clara:' Oh my God! I am pregnant! *'Ling-Ling:' Oh my God! Sink full of dirty dishes again! ---- *'Foxxy Love:' Really, when you was but a child. Your evil stepfather put a curse on your vagina? *'Princess Clara:' What? weren't you paying attention? My evil stepmother. Mother! *'Toot:' Uh, DUUUUUH! ---- *'Spanky:' What the? *'Captain Hero:' Where'd Clara go? *'Toot:' We're confused now. *'Captain Hero:' Oh, I see. We fell for the old neck sprain well lit pie diversion. Notes and inside references * When Clara tells Foxxy and Toot about her curse through interpretive dance, Foxxy misinterprets the move for "stepmother" as "stepfather". After Clara corrects her, Toot looks in Foxxy's direction and says, "Duuuuuuuuhhhhhh!" while her mouth is animated with a severe overbite, like a donkey. This would mark the beginning of one of the show's most frequently employed running gags. * In Foxxy's flashback where Wooldoor is dressed as a priest, he gives Clara a Christian bible, but curiously has an Egyptian ankh symbol on his sash. Wooldoor would also be depicted as a priest in several future episodes; his sash would have the ankh symbol on it in those appearances as well. * In the same flashback (mentioned above), Clara is shown being introduced to Christianity by Wooldoor (who is wearing priest attire). Clara's Christianity would later become one of her primary character traits. * Ling-Ling's drum kit is composed mainly of suspended plates. The dishes are dirty the first time the song is played, but are clean during the song at the end of episode, having been cleaned by Clara's Octopussoir. * The Octopussoir writes a check to Jews for Jesus, a controversial evangelical organization devoted to converting Jews to Christianity- exactly the kind of charity one might expect Clara to contribute to, given her religious views. * As Foxxy is in the confessional discussing Clara's peril, the group chases Clara through the confessional behind her, suggesting that the confessional segments occur simultaneously with the action in the episode. This parodies the confessional segments in The Real World, which are always shot separately at the end of the week. Drawn Together would go on to feature many future confessional segments of this nature. * The Evil Stepmother is voiced by Cree Summer. * It was a running gag in this episode for Ling-Ling to have to do the dishes. **The episode began with Ling-Ling finding dirty dishes in the sink which made him angry. **When Toot and Clara were talking late at night, Ling-Ling came downstairs to see more dirty dishes in the sink. **When everyone was in the panic room, Ling-Ling was seen furiously scrubbing the dirty dishes with a scrub brush in a wooden bucket of water. **During the 24 scene, one of the split screens showed Ling-Ling screaming in rage while he saw a sink full of dirty dishes. **During the musical number, Ling-Ling was hitting a bunch of dirty dishes with drumsticks as though they were drums. **At the end of the episode, Ling-Ling was happy to see the Octopussior cleaning the dirty dishes. Goofs * The first time she is seen from the front during Foxxy's sex-ed class, Toot's legs are bare. The next time she is shown, she is wearing stockings like usual. * During the musical number's first appearence, Captain Hero's cape is missing in one of the shots of him and Spanky singing the line "In your wizard's sleeve", but once back to the group shot, the cape is back. * After performing the musical number, Foxxy grabs Clara and rushes to the bathroom. At first, the door opens from the left side on the outside, as it does elsewhere in the series. However, when Foxxy places the "Do Not Disturb" sign on the doorknob, the door opens from the right side. * When Ling-Ling decides he's had enough of doing the dishes, he holds up a sign that says "Lock Out." However, since he is refusing to work, as opposed to not being allowed to work, he is actually on strike. * When the Octopussoir and Prince Charming's mutilated penis are done playing, Octopussoir speaks in a higher pitched scratchy voice, and the Prince's counterpart responds in a lower gruff voice. In the confessional shot following (and in Alzheimer's That Ends Well) the Octopussoir speaks in the low gruff voice. Cultural references * Foxxy's audiobook is narrated by Droopy Dog, the animated basset hound created by Tex Avery for MGM. Droopy is known for his slow, mournful manner of speech, which contrasts humorously with Clara's saucy account of her hot tub kiss. * Foxxy thanks Roe v. Wade for her childless condition, referring to the Supreme Court of the United States decision that legalized abortion. This would be the first of many abortion-related gags concerning Foxxy's character. * Toot tells Clara that the only way to stop herself from being pregnant is to be pushed down a flight of stairs. Toot does this on the stairs in the house, but says it didn't work. Clara suggests the M.C. Escher room; M.C. Escher was a Dutch artist famous for a lithograph print named Relativity, which depicts a room made up entirely of staircases, all of which lead to nowhere and normal laws of gravity do not apply. The M.C. Escher room that Toot and Clara visit is a duplicate of this. * Wooldoor's blocks spell out the message 2 PAC RIP, a reference to murdered rapper Tupac Shakur. * The naked middle-aged man and woman used in Foxxy's sex lesson are based on visuals from the sex education book Where Did I Come From? by Peter Mayle.http://www.amazon.com/dp/0818402539 * The concept of Clara's vagina being a tentacled monster is a reference to tentacle rape, a theme found in a number of hentai films. The monster might be more directly a reference to the anime Urotsukidoji, which is probably the most famous film dealing with the subject. * Clara's vagina monster is named Octopussoir. This is a reference to Octopussy, a character from the James Bond franchise. * The scene where the screen splits into four frames depicting everyone in peril, with a countdown clock displayed, is a reference to the television series 24. * The scene where Wooldoor Sockbat gets pulled into Clara's vagina and nearly crushed to death is a spoof of the scene in Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, where Luke, Han and Leia are trapped in one of the garbage smashers on the Death Star, but are saved from being crushed by C-3PO and R2-D2 shutting it down. When Clara's vagina begins to close in on Wooldoor, he calls out, "Threepio! Threepio!" on what looks to be a commlink. * While hiding, Captain Hero reads from his diary. The excerpts he reads are from The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank. * The scene where Xandir cowers while Clara's vagina corners him and sticks out its tongue is taken from the film Alien³. * Foxxy's "neck-sprain well-lit pie diversion" is a reference to Scooby-Doo, which often featured villains deceiving people with false images created by highly implausible methods. * The chasing scene after revolving against Clara's Vagina is a parody of Scooby-Doo's chase scenes. * The housemates' chant of "Kill the beast!" originally comes from the novel Lord of the Flies. However, given that Clara is a Disney spoof, the show is more directly parodying Disney's Beauty and the Beast. * In this episode, it is revealed that Clara's mother died when she was a little girl. This fits in with her being a spoof of Disney princesses, the large majority of whom have one or both parents deceased, usually their mother. * Clara's Evil Stepmother is a spoof of the Wicked Stepmother, a stock character from fairy tales who occasionally appears in other works of fiction as well. Clara's stepmother in particular is based on Lady Tremaine from Disney's animated version of Cinderella. * The character of Prince Charming is another stock fairy tale character, often used in stories as an idealized representation of the young female protagonist's true love. His kiss being required to break Clara's curse is based on stories (particularly "The Frog Prince") where the handsome prince has been transformed into a hideous creature of some sort, and the young woman's kiss is required to transform him back. "Beauty and the Beast" (which is also parodied in this episode) is a more complex version of this. Prince Charming's accent is wildly inconsistent in this episode, ranging from accented English to a thick Spanish accent. * The scene in which a bachelor begins crying in the back of a limo and rips open his shirt as he implores the other bachelor, "Make me feel good!" is a reference to the Halle Berry/Billy Bob Thornton sex scene in Monster's Ball. According to the DVD commentary, the voices of the two bachelors are provided by creators Dave Jeser and Matt Silverstein. * According to Clara's stepmother, the only way to break the curse on her vagina is with true love's first kiss. However, when Clara thinks she has found true love with Prince Charming, his kiss instead transforms his penis and testicles into a monster themselves. This is a parody of the Beast's transformation in Beauty and the Beast. A similar parody occurs in the first Shrek movie, where Princess Fiona becomes an ogre permanently upon receiving a kiss from Shrek, her true love, and according to the movie transforms "into her true self". * When Prince Charming shoots himself, he does not die, but his face is charred, and he blinks, reminiscent of the results of gunshots and explosions in Warner Brothers cartoons. * At the end of the episode, after Wooldoor escapes from Clara's vagina, he counts off, "Uno, dos, tres, cuatro", leading into a reprise of "La-La-La-La-Labia". This is a reference to Sam the Sham's count-in at the beginning of the song "Wooly Bully". Differences in DVD version * The DVD version of this episode contains an extended version of the Clara-Toot exchange at the beginning of the episode. (Lines in italics were cut from the televised version.) : * In the televised version of the episode, during Foxxy's sex-ed class, there is a close-up shot of Clara blushing. In the DVD release, the shot shows her from farther back and includes the other housemates in the frame. * The televised version of this episode also cuts the shot of Prince Charming falling into the pool after shooting himself. Gallery Ling Ling is angry with all the dirty dishes in the sink.png|Ling-Ling is angry with all the dirty dishes in the sink. Clara tells everyone an erotic story.png|Clara gathers everyone around for story time. She's telling the story of the last episode.png|Clara gives an erotically charged account of her kiss with Foxxy. Toot is mad at Foxxy.png|Toot attempts to express her frustration towards Clara to Foxxy, but Foxxy is too preoccupied with listening to the audiobook. Angry Toot.png|Toot is furious at Clara receiving more attention than her. Toot convinces Clara that she's preagnant.png|Toot has an evil plan to convince Clara that she got pregnant from kissing Foxxy. Oh my God! I am preagnant!.png|Clara realizes that she is pregnant. Oh my god! More dirty dishes in the sink!.png|Ling-Ling is exasperated at all the dirty dished. Ling Ling is angrily washing the dishes.png|He still washes them though. Clara's going to get Toot for help.png|Clara wants to get help from Toot to end her pregnancy. Clara gets pushed down the stairs.png|Which is getting pushed down the stairs. The MC Escher room.png|Clara gets pushed down the stairs of the MC Escher room. Foxxy thinks this is completely ridiculous.png|Clara lands right in front of Foxxy. Foxxy gives everyone a sex-ed class.png|Foxxy gathers everyone around for a sex-ed class. Foxxy explains everything.png|Foxxy begins explaining heterosexual intercourse. Clara crying on the toilet.png|Clara cries on the toilet. Clara reveals her Octopussior.png|Clara showing Foxxy the Octopussoir. Octopussior.png|The Octopussoir hissing Foxxy screaming.png|Foxxy freaking out after seeing the Octopussoir. Clara cares for her Octopussior.png|Clara calms the Octopussoir down to prevent it from attacking. Clara tells a story through interperetive dance.png|Clara does an interpretive dance to explain how she got her Octopussoir. The guys admire her Octopussior.png|Clara shows the male housemates the Octopussoir. Toot honking the air horn.png|Toot attempts to refuel the Octopussior's rage by using an airhorn. The Drawn Together Guys run for their lives.png|The Octopissor attacks the guys. Wooldoor getting attacked by Clara's Octopussior.png|Wooldoor unfortunately couldn't escape fast enough, so he gets consumed by the Octopussior. The Drawn Together House under confinement.png|The Drawn Together House gets put under confinement. Everyone in fear of the Octopussior.png|Everyone hides in fear of the Octopussior. The Octopussior looking for Xandir.png|The Octopussior comes really close to finding Xandir. Everyone comes to kill the Octopussior.png|Everyone has had enough so they all try and kill the Octopussior. Clara calls her evil stepmother.png|Clara calls her stepmother for help and is told that the undo the curse, she needs a kiss. In a parody of The Bachelor.png|Clara looks for true love in a parody of The Bachelor. Clara giving a rose to Bob.png|Clara calls up the bachelors to take the test of true love. Bob throws up.png|However, all of the bachelors throw up when they confront her Octopussior. Prince Charming accept the rose.png|Finally, she finds someone who actually loves her. Clara and Prince Charming.png|Clara and Prince Charming find true love and lift the curse. Prince Charming gets an Octopussior.png|However, this also results in Prince Charming getting an Octopussoir of his own. Octopussior friends.png|He and Clara's Octopussiors become great friends. Prince Charming is enraged.png|Prince Charming becomes enraged and breaks up with Clara as well as killing himself. Everyone is about to kill the beast.png|After this, everyone goes back to killing the Octopussior again... Octopissoir is good.png|... Until they find out that it's actually good. They realize the Octopussoir is good.png|Everyone then realizes that they shouldn't kill the Octopussior and everything ends happily ever after. Wooldoor gets freed from the Octopussoir.png|Wooldoor richochets out of Octopussior and into the reprise for "La-La-La-La-Labia" Streaming It can be viewed at the official Drawn Together website here. Category:Episodes Category:Clara Episodes Category:Toot Episodes Category:Ling-Ling Episodes Category:Season One Episodes